ARIES (21.03 - 20.04)

On Tuesday and Wednesday, be careful with spicy foods, otherwise stomach problems are inevitable. On Thursday, excessive gullibility can lead to financial losses. On Friday, the authorities will be very favorable to you. On weekends, it is better not to count on the help of others.

TAURUS (21.04 - 20.05)

On Tuesday and Wednesday, do not rush headlong into completing all your planned tasks - in the near future, half of them will no longer be necessary. On Thursday or Friday, disagreements may arise with someone dear to you - make a compromise. Don't drink too much alcohol on Saturday.

GEMINI (21.05 - 21.06)

In the first half of the week, your relationship with your loved one may be tested for strength. Thursday will plunge Gemini into a whirlwind of small matters. On Friday, you should hold back your emotions. On the weekend, try to get enough rest before the next week.

CANCER (22.06 - 22.07)

On Tuesday and Wednesday, avoid drafts and dress warmly. On Thursday there may be conflicts over money or career. On Friday and Saturday you will be able to observe the full power of your charm. On Sunday, if you are not feeling well, it is better to lie down at home.

LEO (23.07 - 23.08)

On Tuesday, the main thing is to stop on time. On Wednesday, Leo begins a period of passion in their personal lives. You shouldn't spend a lot of money on Friday - you'll probably need it on the weekend. Saturday and Sunday will be wonderful and will bring meeting nice people and the joy of communication.

VIRGO (24.08 - 23.09)

The first half of the week is favorable for shopping and doctor visits. On Thursday, in any situation, do not lose patience, your efforts will be rewarded. On Friday and Saturday it is better not to react to temptations, otherwise the whole week will go topsy-turvy. On Sunday, do not rush to make global decisions.

LIBRA (24.09 - 23.10)

On Tuesday and Wednesday, be especially careful about your words: others may be mortally offended by any careless statement. On Wednesday and Thursday, someone may need your support. Friday and Saturday can be very romantic.

SCORPIO (24.10 - 22.11)

On Tuesday and Wednesday, the return on your efforts will exceed your expectations. Thursday is a good day for risky financial transactions. On Friday and Saturday, your actions will delight others. Pay attention to dreams from Sunday to Monday: they can come true very soon.

SAGITTARIUS (11/23 - 12/21)

On Tuesday, in any situation it is better to take a wait-and-see approach. If you are sick, then Wednesday or Thursday will bring relief and good news regarding your health. Friday is a great time for dating. This weekend, your relationship with your loved one promises to be wonderful.

CAPRICORN (22.12 - 20.01)

On Tuesday and Wednesday, so that your financial well-being, be extremely thrifty. On Thursday you will be able to do everything you planned. On Friday and Saturday, try not to make mountains out of molehills, no matter what happens, otherwise you risk ruining your holidays.

AQUARIUS (21.01 - 20.02)

On Tuesday or Wednesday, some Aquarius may experience unforeseen circumstances that will change their immediate plans. On Thursday there may be a temporary lull on the love front. On Friday and on the weekend, guests are likely to arrive, including unexpected ones.

PISCES (21.02 - 20.03)

The beginning of the week can be very stressful - both in terms of the number of things to do and their importance. From Thursday your vitality will begin to improve. On Friday and Saturday, try to avoid any excesses, especially fatty foods and alcohol. Be generous on Sunday.

Hello, dear readers! I have prepared some powerful ones for you. psychological advice which will help answer the question of how to put an impudent or rude person. IN modern society, unfortunately, rudeness - Not unusual.

At times, if you find yourself in a situation where you are insulted or simply rude, a person may become confused, not knowing how to respond to such behavior correctly. To get out of the situation gracefully, let's go through my tips.

First figure it out - then put it in its place!

Or maybe you need to be put in your place? Sometimes a person doesn't notice mistakes in your own behavior , which results in aggression from others. But when someone speaks negatively or rudely towards him, he immediately loses his temper and becomes indignant. It is important to understand, at least superficially, why you started being rude, and if you do not see any serious reasons for this, then you can choose a method that will help put the offender in his place.

Possible reasons for rudeness:

• Reaction to your aggression.
• You are not equal to the person in position (for example, a boss-subordinate relationship), so he may feel entitled to speak disrespectfully to you. This does not mean that you are obliged to tolerate such treatment.
• Arrogance;
• Bad manners;
• Difficult life situation.

Remember that Having a reason does not justify rudeness, but explains. Not everything can be learned about a person, especially whom you see for the first time. He might have had an accident, or he simply doesn’t know how to talk any other way. Always strive to be more dignified and polite, and don't take others' words personally.

5 tricks to put anyone in their place

Now consider 5 clearest techniques , with the help of which you will not only put anyone in their place, but also learn how to competently approach solving other problems.

Ignoring

For some reason, some people believe that refusing to engage in open resistance is This is a manifestation of weakness and spinelessness, and does not refer to a way to put someone else in their place. Let's figure it out, is this true? For example, if you have an excellent job, with a decent salary, there are plans that you can implement with this particular job, but you also have a slightly unrestrained boss who, as usual, always speaks in a raised tone with a hint of obscenities. Will your refusal to attempt to put him in his place be considered weakness? More like common sense.

If you don't feel an urgent need to put someone in their place, who insults or is rude, then silence - perfect solution. Especially when you don’t care if you get off at a stop or get a bonus in a week. By the way, about what I already told you, read it.

Demonstration of intelligence

Put the offender in his place with clever words Same good welcome, since people usually respond to intellectual superiority by running away. To begin with, it’s a good idea to learn a couple of sayings that will remain in your arsenal. Then, you will react more freely. To do this, you should watch more comedy programs and series where irony is the basis, i.e. ridicule of human stupidity and weaknesses.

Head-on collision

Ask a person directly why he dares to be rude to you, and what he thinks about himself, effective way, since there is no answer to this question. After all, no one has the right to be rude to strangers, especially those who are not guilty of anything. But note that if a person has obviously inflated self-esteem, then she will consider herself so perfect and inviolable that any attempts on your part to put her in her place will be virtually useless. Since this person considers you inferior to him, your words will have no effect on him. In this case, enable ignore mode.

We nod and smile!

Boors are always aimed at a response: irritation or inability to fight back. When, instead of returning attacks, he receives a politely smiling face and the phrase: « So what? I don’t care, even if you’re absolutely right! Have a good day! " Usually, such a position puts the impudent person into a stupor, because he does not expect such calmness and poise. Many people manage to put a rude person in his place this way.

Retaliatory aggression is an extreme way to put people in their place

This technique does not require fists, only emotions. But the method is used in exceptional case and, most often, men. A woman who is screaming and threatening is not taken as seriously as a man. For ladies, it is recommended to use ignoring or demonstrating intelligence. Remember that some people are waiting for your anger to show, and it is not always possible to put them in their place this way. Sometimes you can even make the conflict worse.

Conclusion

The main weapon is this is intelligence and calmness. Learn to argue your position. And in any situation you can put an ill-mannered person in his place. Also, learn to look at yourself from the outside and at the rude person too. Is he even worthy of your attention? Insults are a sign of an unhappy and ill-mannered person, so why would you take on someone else's dissatisfaction with life? Be loved and happy, dear readers!

And also don’t forget to subscribe to updates and tell your friends about the article. Best wishes! I look forward to your comments and wishes!

For many people, work is not only a source of replenishment family budget and an anchor of stability, but also favorite hobby, which is a way of self-expression and brings a certain joy in life. Unfortunately, work is not always associated only with rosy and pleasant emotions: relationships with colleagues can force even a calm person to slam the door.

How to put arrogant colleagues in their place?

5 answers to a colleague if he is constantly nagging at work

Does your “comrade” at work vigilantly watch your every move, groundlessly find fault with every little detail, and exhaust you with attacks, reproaches and jokes? Don’t rush to throw lemonade into the face of an impudent person or send him on a long journey to a known address - first make sure that all cultural methods have been exhausted.

• “Would you like a cup of coffee?” And have a heart-to-heart chat. You will be surprised, but goodwill sometimes not only discourages an impudent person and deprives him of his “thorns,” but also quickly solves the problem. In the end, adequate adults are always able to find mutual language.
• Be flexible and seek compromise. Even if nothing works out, your conscience will be clear - at least you tried.
• “You have parsley stuck in your teeth.” Reduce all attacks to a joke. With a smile, but categorically “move out” of any reproach. And continue to do your job calmly. According to the “smile and wave” principle. By the 10th time, your colleague will get tired of your retaliatory jokes and “inaction” (the best answer to boorish people is precisely inaction!) and will find another victim.
• "Your suggestions?". But really, let him show and tell. Give the person the opportunity to express himself, and give yourself the opportunity to move on to a normal dialogue with a colleague. Calmly listen to his objections and suggestions. Also, calmly agree or, in case of disagreement, reasonedly and, again, calmly voice your point of view.
• “And indeed. How come I didn’t realize it right away? Thanks for noticing! We'll fix it." No need to go into the bottle. The most bloodless option is to agree, smile, and do as you are asked. Especially if you are wrong, and your colleague is a more experienced person in your work.

5 correct steps if a work colleague is spying on you and informs his superiors

Is there a “misplaced Cossack” in your team? And more and more to your liking? If you are an exemplary worker and have a strong habit of keeping your mouth shut, then you don’t have to worry. However, it doesn’t hurt to know about the rules of behavior with “informers.”

• We place a colleague in an information vacuum. We discuss all important and personal issues only outside of work. Let a comrade starve without food for denunciations. And, of course, we take a responsible approach to our work. If you arrive before noon, run away long before the end of the working day, and spend most of your working time in the “smoking room,” then your boss will assign you an indefinite vacation without any backlash.
• Let's do the opposite. We calmly and confidently launch the “misinformation”, and let the informer warm his long ears and spread this misinformation throughout the company. The minimum that awaits him is a reprimand from his superiors. The method is radical, and may well turn out to be a double-edged sword, so choose the material for the “misinformation” very carefully.
• "Who is there?". We ignore the colleague himself and his attempts to ruin your life. As for the authorities, there is no need to worry: no one likes informers. Therefore, do not even think about running after your fellow informer to the manager and inserting your 2 cents. Just "sit on the river bank and wait for the corpse of your enemy to float past you."
• “Well, let's talk?” A heart-to-heart conversation is quite real option problem solving. But without superiors and in the presence of witnesses - other colleagues. And preferably, those colleagues who are on your side. During an intimate conversation, you can explain to your colleague that everyone knows about his actions, that no one supports these actions, and that at all times the fate of informers has been unenviable (everyone chooses the tone of the conversation and epithets to the best of their intelligence). It is worth noting that as a result of such conversations, informers very often realize their mistakes and take the path of correction. The main thing is to convey to the person that in your friendly and strong team with such life “principles” they do not stay long.
• Delicacy be damned, let's count the snitch's ribs! This is the worst case scenario. It will not definitely increase your “karma”. Therefore, emotions aside, sobriety of thinking and calmness are above all. Even better, humor can help relieve tension. It is humor, not sarcasm, and skillfully inserted “pins”.

In the matter of denunciations it is always more difficult than with ordinary rudeness. You can, if desired, win a boor over to your side, calm him down, bring him into conversation, turn him into a friend from an enemy. But pride, as a rule, does not allow anyone to be friends with an informer. Therefore, if in your friendly team If there is a snake, deprive it of poison immediately.

A colleague is openly rude - 5 ways to put down an insolent person

We meet boors everywhere - at home, at work, on public transport, etc. But if a boor on a bus can be ignored and forgotten as soon as you get off at your stop, then a boorish colleague is sometimes a real problem. After all, you won’t change jobs because of him.

How to stop an insolent person?

• We respond to every boorish attack with a joke. This way, your nerves will be healthier, and your authority among your colleagues will be higher. The main thing is not to cross the line in your jokes. “Below the belt” and black humor are not an option. Don't stoop to your colleague's level.
• Turn on the recorder. As soon as the boor opens his mouth, we take the recorder out of our pocket (or turn it on on the phone) and with the words “Wait, wait, I’m recording,” press the record button. There is no need to scare the boor that you will take this audio collection to the boss, write down “For history!” - demonstratively and always with a smile.
• If a boor asserts himself in this way at your expense, deprive him of this opportunity. He gets you in time lunch break? Eat at another time. Does it interfere with your work process? Transfer to another department or work schedule. Isn't there such a possibility? Ignore the lunges and see point 1.
• “Do you want to talk about it?” Every time they try to piss you off, turn on your inner psychiatrist. And look at your opponent with the forgiving eyes of a psychiatrist. Specialists will never contradict their violent patients. They pat them on the head, smile affectionately and agree with everything the patients say. For the particularly violent ones - a straitjacket (the phone camera will help you, and the entire series of videos on YouTube).
• Growing personally. Take care of yourself - your work, hobbies, growth. With personal growth, all boors, informers and gossips remain somewhere beyond your flight. Like ants underfoot.

5 Answers on How to Deal with a Gossiping Colleague

Of course, everyone is unsettled by false rumors spread behind their backs. At this moment you feel “naked” and betrayed. Especially if the information about you spread at the speed of light is true.

How to behave?

• Pretend that you are not aware of the situation and continue to work calmly. They will gossip and stop. As you know, “everything passes”, and this too.
• Join the discussion about yourself. With humor and jokes. Take part in the gossip and boldly add a couple of shocking details. Even if the gossip doesn't stop, at least relieve the tension. It will be much easier to work further.
• Point your colleague to specific articles of the Criminal Code on libel which he violates with his gossip. Doesn't he understand well? File a claim for protection of honor and dignity.
• Every day, deliberately and demonstratively give a colleague new topic for gossip. Moreover, the topics should be such that after a week the team is completely tired of them.
• Talk to the boss. If all else fails, then this is the only option left. Just don’t rush into your boss’s office and do the same thing your colleague is doing. Calmly turn to your superiors for help, without naming names - let him advise you on how to get out of this situation with honor, without harming the general microclimate in the team.

A worthy response to an arrogant interlocutor may be a reflection of your integrity, as well as your ability to stand up for yourself. These are narcissistic people with an arrogant attitude towards others. They can easily ruin your day and overall mood. He is simply confident that he is superior to everyone and everything. How you react can affect your mood and your self-esteem. We offer 5 phrases that will help put an arrogant person in his place.

A brief description of this type of psychology:

5 phrases that will help you cope with the arrogance of a careless friend:

You know, one of my relatives or acquaintances too... (By humiliating, a powerful person tries to elevate himself in comparison with the people around him. You can stop him by hinting that one of your close friends is part of the group that the arrogant person describes. With this you are quite you can put him in , or even force him to apologize).

Did you know that there are other points of view? (This will show that there are other opinions and they should not be underestimated). Such a statement will destroy the existing stereotypes in the head of a “high-ranking person.” If earlier he thought that everyone would obey him, now a rival has appeared in you. Do not allow yourself to be provoked into any conflict.

- Tell me again, why are you better than him? (With this question, you can easily make him feel embarrassed. In this situation, you will notice how he simply begins to squirm and will not be able to give a clear answer. He will find himself in an uncomfortable position!).

- Shut up already! (The easiest way to end a conversation is to simply walk away. Finally, you can throw a sharp phrase that will make him think. Although they think too highly of themselves, despite clear evidence of their meanness).

“Do you realize how pompous you look when you say things like that?” (You make it clear that you find arrogant behavior unacceptable. In addition, such people are often successful. And if a weak personality falls under their influence, then he feeds on someone else's energy).

As you can see, there is nothing difficult about putting the impudent person in his place. The main thing is not to be afraid, not to allow yourself to be manipulated. No one should sit on your head, annoy you, or show disrespect. Only you yourself are able to cope with your indignation and finally respond to the merits of your interlocutor with obvious delusions of grandeur. If you meet such a specific person on your life’s path, do not waste your precious time on her, but strive for success and happiness.

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Olga, you are not faced with rudeness, or rather not just rudeness, but with a positional struggle for a certain resource. Perhaps your sister is simply used to solving all her affairs this way and doesn’t recognize any other approach, but most likely, she sees that your psychological constitution is weaker and you can allegedly be pushed through by rudeness. They also often include hysteria (loud screaming, squealing, deliberate inadequacy), just so that you give in, refuse, give up. Stand your ground and don’t refuse what is due to you by inheritance, but respond to her rudeness: 1) with humor, 2) cushion her attacks against you with supposed consent and tire her out with this. For example, she: “You’re a fool!” You: “I completely agree with you, dear, you have no idea what a fool I am!” She: “Well, how to talk to you?” You: “You see, how to talk to me?” And then, ad infinitum, just mirror it, literally repeat it word for word and confirm it. 3) Don't be afraid of conflict. They want to simply, stupidly push you, referring to “family feelings” and openly manipulate you. Don’t be afraid to conflict, get a HIGH from conflict! Meetings with your sister should not be feared, but anticipated, like sex. Be bolder.
In addition to these purely psychological things, consult an intelligent lawyer (there is psychological illiteracy, and there is legal illiteracy, do not proceed from the position “I know everything!”, We have a whole country of such “know-it-alls”, consult a lawyer and, in a conversation with your sister, rely on FACTS, that is, on rational arguments and the law, and not on her emotions and cheap manipulations).

Elena

What to do if a man, a work colleague, is rude, and he tries to mask the rudeness with rather rude humor. He does this publicly, some colleagues are already joking, suggesting that he is not indifferent to me. How to set boundaries in communicating with such a person?

Natalie

A young colleague began to pester me about every issue at work. I communicate with my superiors normally, we are almost the same age and have found a common language, a young colleague at the beginning. behaves civilly and politely; as soon as you are left alone, he begins to twirl his brains. Because of my upbringing, I tolerate her; I don’t dare to be rude, but she’s still young. So what should we do with her?

Natalya, I didn’t “see” your situation, a lot of questions arise, you described it too briefly. What does it mean to “twist your brains”? Does she only act this way around you? Are you equal in status? Have you had such cases before? How do you generally resolve conflicts? There are many ways to solve your situation, but to do this you need to thoroughly understand the situation, realize whether it is attacking you or defending itself? I would recommend or order my audio course “Rudeness at work: how to remove rudeness towards you in the workplace?” or contact me for personal advice on resolving conflict at work.

Elena, I advise you to order my audio course “Rudeness at Work” to cope with this problem. First, understand what goal he is pursuing? He gives you so-called “negative attention”, as a rule, this is just a sign of psychological illiteracy and a way of self-affirmation at the expense of others, sometimes there are other reasons. You need to set boundaries either in a private conversation by concluding an “oral agreement”: do not go beyond these limits. If he does not fulfill the verbal agreement “not to touch” you, socially punish you by harshly ridiculing and publicly humiliating him - hit him below the belt (“your wife didn’t let you in the morning?”, “he got overexcited at the sight of me,” etc. Make fun of him publicly, just not just once, but cling to him and bring him out with humiliations. Ask why he is so narrow-minded and unhappy, use your imagination, conflict with the light. It is possible that you have developed a pathological “Victim-Persecutor” relationship in which you have chosen the role of the Victim. .

Elena

Hello. I have the following problem: I work on a rotational basis and live in a dorm with two older women. They are friends, they got a job there long before me, one of them constantly yells at me, insults me and accuses me of something I didn’t do. When Having learned who did this, he never admits his mistake, but begins to look for new reasons for insults and humiliation. It started with my night shifts, I tried to sleep, but they came during breaks and made noise, laughed, talked loudly. I asked them don’t make noise, because she worked from night to night... she got into a pose and said that she had never caved in to anyone, if you don’t like it, look for another place to live. From that moment on, she began to “spread rot” on me. I’m not a scandalous person, calmly I answer, I ask you not to raise your voice, but this only angers her.

Olga

MY VIEW ON THOUGHT: The truth is that not all people can recognize and accept your merits and there will definitely be someone who will “itch” because of your success, independence, deep personal maturity and achievements and such a person will definitely want you morally to bite, to be rude out of spiritual malice and to belittle you and your merits in every possible way (being rude or supposedly belittling another person is always easier than growing up and becoming successful yourself, which is why rudeness exists - as a pathological form of satisfying the boorish ego). The last principle is the truest and best - grow personally.
I have long grown personally (both professionally and morally) from my director. But...I live in a small town where it is almost impossible to find another job. And why look for it if I chose my profession consciously and studied all my life and achieved success at a certain stage. And now the situation is killing me - it’s calling me out, and in the presence of a deeply devoted person at work, I’m still not being treated with anything, they’re belittling me. But the situation is further... Knowing my successes in grant work, they tell me that you have done nothing, except that you only won a grant. You promised to win another one, but you didn’t???? Stop feeding me breakfast. Before the conflict, I said that I wanted to participate in a new competition. And then “You must write and win.” Well, this is too much. It is clear that they win the competition. I can't win them forever. You can get overextended. There is no health anyway, not 20 years. Too bad I cried a lot after that.

Marina

Hello!! please help with advice. I was 30 and found myself in this situation for the first time. I am a very peaceful person, and I always said goodbye to people who started to be rude to me and put a spoke in my wheels without scandals. And then one relative (the wife of my husband’s brother), taking advantage of the situation (my husband stood up for his mother and insulted him in a fight with his brother), insulted me and, plus, also bills me for giving gifts. etc. accusing me of telling our secrets to her, etc. Frankly speaking, I don’t remember whether I told my husband about this or not, but I put up with so much from her (I put up with her gossip that she only counts my money because she was pregnant), did so much for her…..that you don’t even remember. She is not very far away... and I need to put her in her place. How? I’ve never had to do this, but inside I’m already burning with anger and I understand that until I put her in her place I won’t calm down.....

Natalia

Hello! I don’t seem to be a mumbler by nature and very much so a positive person, but I get the impression that when entering a store (deli or household chemicals, it doesn’t matter) a neon inscription “Fuck me!!!” is displayed on my forehead. This is especially depressing when I have a small child, in front of whom I don’t want to expose myself in an unfavorable light for the baby and be rude, and you never know, more will happen)) I also have an attractive appearance, so I hear a lot of things from ladies over 40. and everything is typically feminine - Oh, this shampoo won’t suit you, your hair is thin!!!, “We don’t have nail scissors!” (and the display case is completely covered with them).. oh, there’s such a rotten smell in the store oh so much. which is really bad! These 3 variations are from one lady (although I don’t know her and none of my friends have anything in common either), and she first worked in 1 store, which I stopped going to, no matter how much I needed it, and now she I started working in another store, which I previously loved very much, but now I also have no desire to go to. and everything in front of the child, in addition, and there must be an audience, they are from the category of cowardly, as I understand it. I think tomorrow I’ll go ahead and make a complaint (but even without a child they refuse to simply sell me cheese or sell something, unless my husband is with me. He puts these madams in their place. My parents are already telling me that I’m always unlucky , learn to stand up for yourself. But, “A good thought comes later!” I, when faced with rudeness, feel like my throat is constricting and my breath is taken away, and I can’t say anything from undeserved resentment, only later, already walking. away from the store, I’m thinking about what I should have said.. What should I do with this, how can I learn to stand up for myself, maybe memorize universal phrases?!

NATA

Let me ask for help. I work as an office cleaner. this moment“settled” or rather the company “transferred” it to a special company “D...” they specialize in cleaning everything possible - apartments, offices, offices, high-altitude work, etc. I work for 1 year. Everything suited everyone, sometimes she took the initiative, but with the permission of her master. I try to tactfully approach with a request, a question. A young lady appeared, communication was friendly from the first days, but a little “feathered” began to indicate who is who! Her husband, her boss, began to intercede (for half a year, working with the gentleman, there were no conflicts) “Gentlemen” indicate when to clean the office, (another 8 offices and 3 corridors) everyone understands perfectly well there is enough work, but the “couple” is trying to gain the upper hand. Thanks to the team for their support and respect...Yeah, if it weren’t for this situation, I wouldn’t even know about the attitude towards my little person. PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO TACTICALLY PUT IN PLACE!? I do my job - wiping, washing floors, general cleaning once a week. With UV. NATALIA (sorry for mistakes, emotions)

Julia

Hello! I have this situation. My husband is rude to me. He and I studied together for 2 years, but when we were studying, he asked me to date, I refused the first time. Then, when we finished studying, I myself invited him to meet. Everything was fine, we didn’t fight. We started living together. Half a year later I became pregnant. We agreed on the speed. When my daughter was born. Our life has become hell for me. He blames me for everything. He yells that I don’t do anything around the house. He talks to me rudely. He calls me a bitch and other offensive words. And as soon as I cry, he says no noah. I found a job, I don’t come home for weeks, I say that it’s difficult for me with my one-year-old daughter alone, and he says you want money at home or for me to sit low. Work then yourself. We haven’t had sex for months. And I’m only 20 years old. He’s 26. For any reason, he starts yelling and makes sure it’s my fault. He doesn’t understand that it’s hard for me right now and he doesn’t care. Today, when we were arguing, he said let’s get a divorce, you’ll be alone. Then 2 hours passed and everything was as if nothing had happened. And I’m offended, he never even apologizes for his words. What should I do? I don’t have the strength anymore. I have nowhere to go; we don’t know anyone in another city yet.

Love

thank you author for the article. but I have the same problem. My ex, so to speak, is rude to me. The thing is that we broke up and after 2 years I started dating his friend. He got involved in those relationships all the time—on purpose or by accident, I don’t know—but he did mean things, and if he had anything to do with it, he got away with it. but he tried his best to offend me. Now he is married and has 2 children, but fate brings us together from time to time since I live almost next door to him and the truck is a small town, so from time to time I meet him in social circles. I can’t not communicate with anyone, on the contrary, I want to start new friends he is a womanizer and a storyteller - one might say an actor in a burned-out theater and is always with girls and one way or another I know them, his friend we broke up and he seems to be fine with me, but this is when one on one. I even changed my attitude towards him. He even told my mother that he was a pre-teacher and a smart guy and that he deserved a bad attitude. then I started to wonder why I broke up with my ex, because he loved me so much, although literally a year ago he tried to humiliate me in the company of his friends, saying that I consider my boyfriend to be mine, to which I was furious, as if he didn’t count, he paused and added with an ellipsis that he doesn’t know...it was very unpleasant. but here it’s the other way around. Well, then he began to complain about his life because he didn’t love his wife - that it wasn’t her or the children that made him happy, and that he was leaving and didn’t want them. I asked what would happen without them, to which he replied who takes firewood into the forest. In general, it’s immoral. But recently I began to communicate with girls, they work next to me and he pursues one of them and now he began to be rude to me demonstratively in front of them. In general, even in front of guys, he shines with moments of aggression - at times he has such aggression and rage towards me, and this despite the fact that with girls he is affectionate and artistic - he is ready to demonstrate his supposed friendship and love with gentlemanly actions. when we met, he carried it in his arms and took off the last jacket when I was freezing, he cleaned my shoes, literally tied the laces, but it was all feigned, I assure you, I was not the only one who had this, and this is what served as our parting. he was also consciously and unconsciously afraid that I would tell the girls his biography and most importantly that he is married and has children - in principle, I did this - because I myself went through very difficult times because of him and I don’t want others - even though he was married then I wasn’t. But these girls even seemed to become friends. I dated him for about 2 years - although we broke up a hundred times - but I loved him for almost 5 years - now I have no feelings for him or for my next ex - I was also with him for about 5 years. and when I met his friend, he tried to make advances on me more than once. I ask the author to help me - this story has been going on for 10 years. I'm mentally and physically tired. I don’t know how to get rid of it. It infuriates me to the point of trembling. I don’t know how to completely limit myself to him - so as not to cross paths in companies and so that he leaves me alone - he always leaves a terrible aftertaste.

Love, you have become fixated not on reality, but not on your past. In a relationship with former partners In terms of relationships, you are now in the accumulation phase, that is, they are accumulating anger, irritation, hatred, resentment and claims towards you, and the same is true for you in relation to them (“he infuriates me to the point of trembling”). You demonize your partner, and he demonizes you in the eyes of others (spreads ridiculous rumors). You are now in the pathological combination Victim-Persecutor, where you alternate between the Victim and the Persecutor - that is, you either feel hurt and insulted, then you attack him (or if you don’t attack, then your frustration due to the situation results in auto-aggression, in self-accusation). This is where the emotional logic of “dogs in the manger” comes from, that is, I need hay, but I’ll sit here and “drink blood,” that is, in fact, you are dealing with psychological manipulations that come to you from there. That is why such “relationships” are called pathological, that is, incorrect, and that is why they hurt you so deeply. On the other side there can be neither sincerity nor sympathy; on the other side there is a game going on, perhaps even according to the principles “let her get worse.” You are not very good at emotionally detaching yourself from this relationship, although it is actually possible, it is not the situation that you need to change, but your reaction to it. This is very short. In fact, this is a huge topic, and in order to qualitatively work out your reactions to this situation, you need to work with a psychologist, then all this will stop touching you so emotionally and calm will return to your soul. If you want, I can do this kind of work for you personally, I work with these conditions and conduct such consultations (including remotely), to do this, just write to me by email.

Kate

Help me please. Recently woke up. And I understood. That my common-law spouse is a real goat. Let's say he chews at my expense. He drives my car. He started to be rude and beat me. For every word there is shouting and fists. Recently I almost had an accident with a child... he came to fight me on the highway. I'm shocked. She told him to leave...threw things out of the closet. He beat me for this and held my daughter (ours) in his arm. In general, I can’t kick you out. I already tried to tell him peacefully... that I don’t need to be rude, call names, beat and humiliate. But everything repeats itself and he also justifies it by saying that then I become a normal woman. I understand that I need to leave and I’m no longer afraid... I’m not afraid to be alone. I'm no longer afraid of anything. I’m already in complete G. But I want to get out of all this. Tell. What should I do to make him decide that he wants to leave? At any word or action of mine that he doesn’t like, he gives up. I don’t want to ruin his life. I’ll report it to the police. He will be fired from work. He's a cop. I want him to leave... his ex kicked him out for a long time. In the end, I called his mother and something happened and he seemed to leave. Should I do the same? But he will kill me.

Albina

Good afternoon, please tell me what to do in the situation that I have, my daughter and I have been going to children’s classes for about two weeks now, she is very shy and cries when I leave class, she can’t get used to it yet, but classes you can be with her, after class I usually talked with the teacher, asked what else we should learn, what to pay attention to, but yesterday the head came up to me, he usually accepts payment from parents for classes and solves organizational issues and says “I I need to talk to you seriously...” I come up to him and say that I first wanted to pay for the lesson, to which he responded with a joke, “Like in Georgia?” “I didn’t understand at first, and asked, “What do you mean?” he said that there is such a joke that in Georgia they don’t give change, but he gave me change, then he said in such a tone, like, what are you even doing here, “Are you having problems?” And he looked like he wanted to kill me, to which I asked him to clarify what he meant, to which he told me more rudely, “Tell me yes or no!!! I say Tell me more precisely, he says, Do you have a problem that your daughter can’t go to classes without you? I answered that I didn’t have any problems and that everything was fine, I didn’t say anything else because other parents were sitting there and I couldn’t find anything to say in that case, I was confused and left, in response he just didn’t tell me anything I laughed, please tell me, give me advice on what I should have done in this situation, what I should have said, and now how can I even go there and work with my daughter? Thank you!

Elena

Hello. This is the situation. I started taking photography courses; during the lesson the teacher didn’t like my questions (it was clear that he didn’t know what to mark). As a result, he began to openly be rude and rude in front of everyone. I am not a conflict person; in such situations I get lost. I’m thinking about going to the next lesson and putting it in its place (but how?) or just stop going, but I paid the money. After the lesson, I approached him, I thought maybe he would somehow realize that he had acted rudely, to which the answer was: yes, I am like that, I did it on purpose! And what to do in such a situation?

Olga

Married 15 years. Conflicts and misunderstandings arose more than once, but they always found a common language. IN Lately My husband began to earn good money (about a year ago our incomes were the same), but I was laid off at work, and my husband remained the only “earner”... although I didn’t sit still, looked for income and found it. At the insistence of my husband, I left work (although not willingly, I promised to pay for my going to the gym, and for my child too, including expenses associated with my treatment, but as soon as I quit, it turned out that neither my son, nor my health, nor The child (and we have three, and we’re talking about only one child) doesn’t bother my husband at all. Now he says that I have to earn money and take care of the children myself, and I don’t mind, but I no longer have a job (at my husband’s insistence. and finding a new one with three children is problematic) ... but these are, of course, my problems, I want him to come down to earth and remember his family in which he grew up (far from sugar) ... I can cope with difficulties myself, the main thing is for me , so as not to lose face in front of your husband, but to answer him with dignity for all his suffering, so as not to be a victim, but to be head and shoulders above!!!

Maria

I work as a pharmacist... I came to a new team. Where the manager, the shift supervisor and “a jailer-pharmacist who doesn’t have an ounce of decency or conscience... constantly yells at me, completely unbelted under the cover of the manager... swoops in and offers to fight, she spoke to the manager in on her side....just wondering how to behave when she swoops in and starts yelling and commanding me???

Olga

Hello. It’s just boiling over and I don’t know what to do. I live with my husband and 2 children (son 5 years old + daughter 11 months old). The neighbors don't give me peace. As soon as you walk around the kitchen, they immediately knock on the wall, saying they walked loudly. As soon as children, especially my daughter, crawl across the floor, they start knocking and making noise. At one time, in response to our supposed noise, they turned on music so loudly all day long that it was impossible to stay in the apartment. I received answers to my questions about what was happening: my apartment, I do whatever I want, I don’t like you and we will survive you, or you are just bothering us. One time it dawned on me that I got into a fight with their daughter because her son had just started walking and she turned on the music. If you go into the kitchen and God forbid you start talking, there will be 100% knocking. there is no way to relax at home. Because of this, she began to snap at the children and repeat, don’t run, don’t make noise, etc. There is no option to sell the apartment and move. What should I do? how to learn to deal with them. They themselves have 3 children (a 21-year-old daughter + an 18-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter) when they were growing up, I didn’t knock on them, no matter how much they ran. At one time I turned on my own to their loud music (our speakers are stronger than theirs), but in the end they turned off the light from the panel. This is complete impudence. Now the daughter is growing up and will start walking and there will be a lot of knocking and music from them. when they make noise I don't knock. Maybe it’s time to knock on them myself? Now I’ve spoken out and feel better. Children can’t stay in their room all the time and they need to eat and go to the toilet. what to do? be rude or what? I filed a complaint with the police and came and talked to no avail. help with advice please. At least go to a psychologist.