Sex issues concern men and women throughout their lives, but especially in the period after childbirth. A change in the usual daily routine, fatigue, psychological problems, discomfort in a young mother due to stitches and individual characteristics of the body can lead to serious disagreements in the family. However, sometimes representatives of the stronger sex do not want intimacy: the status of a father also imposes certain obligations and can provoke a temporary loss of libido. How to deal with problems?

How long is the abstinence period

The standard period of temporary abstinence after childbirth (both first and repeated) is 6-8 weeks. But in the ideal case, when there are no ruptures, episiotomies and other complications, and also if the mother herself wants sex, doctors allow her to return to sexual activity after 4 weeks, provided that the postpartum discharge stops.

Please note: 4 weeks is the minimum allowable period for a return to the world of great sex!

After a premature birth (miscarriage), doctors recommend waiting until the next period before returning to a normal sexual life. An unfortunate event due to a purge traumatizes the uterus, which needs time to recover. On average, a couple needs to wait about 30 days, and then follow the rules: avoid too deep penetration, use lubricant, reduce the frequency of sex to 1-2 times a week for 2-3 months after the incident.

After a caesarean section, the period of abstinence is the same as after a natural birth: 6-8 weeks. If you waited for the allotted time, the stitches heal well and the discharge no longer bothers you, light the candles and enjoy each other!

As for masturbation

If you get relief from a clitoral orgasm, experimentation (including oral sex) is acceptable as early as a week or two after giving birth. Masturbation with vibrators, dildos, and other sex toys is subject to the same abstinence period as regular sex: 6-8 weeks.

The prohibition applies only to sex or masturbation in which there is penetration into the vagina. Oral and clitoral caresses will help you get pleasure without harm to the body.

Why the female body is not ready for sex in the first 1-2 months after childbirth

The time of sexual rest is necessary for the uterus to be cleansed of blood, placental remnants and return to its previous state. Early experiments are not only unpleasant for a woman, but also dangerous. After childbirth, the inner surface of the genital organ, in fact, is an open wound and is very susceptible to infections. Sex during abstinence is likely to lead to inflammation of the uterus, festering stitches, high fever and a course of antibiotics, which will force you to stop breastfeeding. In some cases, treatment is carried out in a hospital.
It is advisable to visit a gynecologist before resuming sexual relations to make sure that sex does not cause problems.

In addition to discomfort, discharge, pain, the mental state of a woman plays an important role. Her body has changed, its former shape has been lost, stretch marks, scars have appeared, and a baby is hanging on her chest. Hormonal surges also do not add stability to the state of a young mother. Postpartum depression may set in. If anxiety, tearfulness, mood swings, fatigue, and appetite disturbances do not go away after 1-2 months after childbirth, the help of a psychologist is needed.

Intimacy problems: how to deal with them

The reasons for not wanting sex after childbirth are different.

1. Fatigue due to the constant care of the child. Solution: a woman should rest as much as she needs, sleep at least 8 hours a day. Remember, a happy and rested mom is much more important than cleaning the floors on time or a five-course dinner.
2. Discomfort due to dryness in the vagina. The lack of estrogen in the body does not allow the lubricant to be produced in sufficient quantities. Solution: use lubricants (gels to moisturize and ease friction).
3. Change in the anatomy of the vagina. After childbirth, it expands, there is no former narrowness that men like. Ruptures and episiotomy lead to the formation of scars, which also affect the condition of the mucosa (especially with the unscrupulous work of the doctor). Solution: wait for recovery. Kegel exercises help.
4. Decreased libido. The hormone oxytocin is released into the blood during breastfeeding, it is designed to form a strong bond with the child. Reluctance to have sex is a natural mechanism that is necessary for a young mother to rest and not become pregnant again too quickly. If the baby is bottle-fed, the return to a normal sexual life is much faster.

How to bring sex back into the lives of new parents

Childbirth is stressful for both parents, and you need to get out of a difficult psychological state gently and gradually. For some married couples, the return to sex occurs absolutely naturally, by mutual consent. Others start scandals. Both of these are the norm.

• from the birth of a child to 1 month - sex is virtually excluded;
• up to six months - breastfeeding leaves an imprint on intimate life. One of the most sexual and erogenous zones of a woman is responsible for the nutrition of the crumbs, milk is released at the most inopportune moment, which cannot but affect the quality of sex;
• from six months to a year - the time for grinding parents to a new status. Sex gradually becomes more stable, even;
• the second year of parenthood will bring new sensory sensations to your bed, the spouses are already involved and can enjoy each other to the fullest;
• two years after birth, libido is usually fully restored.

To bring sex back into the lives of young parents, you need to:

• wait for the end of lochia;
• if there are stitches, get confirmation from the gynecologist that everything is in order;
• choose a traditional (missionary) position for the first time;
• don't forget the lubricant.

Feedback from women: how to want sex

I had a caesarean, and then it was very good. painfully. The husband was worried that because of him. Then we went to the doctor together. Did a few surveys. It turned out that once a month, for several days, my ovary enlarged, as with a normal menstrual cycle (although my period only started a year and a month after giving birth). As we later calculated, all our attempts fell just on these days. And they also advised us banal lubrication and longer foreplay, so that I would be properly aroused. 100% helped us.

After the first birth, I lost my desire, not immediately, of course, but after a while, maybe fatigue affected, maybe breastfeeding, but I didn’t say anything to my husband. I just tried to set myself up, to inspire that I really want to, and so on. I understood that it was on an emotional level, and the problem was in my head, and somehow then everything went away, and after the second birth it became even better in the sexual sphere, and the desire did not disappear anywhere, so go for it!! And as for the stitches, I told my husband what positions I was uncomfortable with when I pulled the stitch, and we chose those from which I was comfortable.

https://mamochki.by/forum/41/334

Decreased libido in men

There is a situation when, after the appearance of a baby in the family, a young dad flatly refuses to have sex. He can name a variety of reasons: “the child is sleeping, I’m afraid to wake you up”, “today I’m tired, let’s go tomorrow”, “an interesting film, I want to watch it” and even “what are you, you are now a Mother, can you?”. The origins of this most often lie in psychology. Suspicious, anxious men are afraid to harm a woman, considering her a fragile creature in need of care and guardianship. The process of breastfeeding only adds stones to the wall growing between the spouses, the husband still looks at his wife with adoration, but at the same time he sees in front of him not a sexual object, but the Madonna and Child. From here it is difficult to return to the previous relationship, but it is quite possible.
Sometimes after childbirth, the libido disappears not from the wife, but from the husband

Do not rush your husband, let him get used to your new role in the family. In no case do not talk about the problem with the libido. On the contrary, praise him, compliment him below the belt, make dirty comments (if it is customary in your family), and help ignite the fire of passion. If there is no positive progress within 3-4 months, you should think about visiting a psychologist or a sexologist.

Physiological reasons are associated with a change in the quality of sex (the vagina has become larger, there is no former elasticity, lubrication is poorly produced). To solve them, you need time to restore the female body after childbirth, as well as aids (for example, lubricants).

Features of sex after childbirth and caesarean section

Childbirth is a natural process, but sometimes after them changes occur in the female body that directly affect the quality of sex.

Sex with bladder prolapse

During pregnancy and childbirth, the ligaments and muscles in the vaginal area are stretched and lose their elasticity. As a result, the prolapse of the bladder (cystocele) develops, which may even fall out of the genital organs.
Bladder prolapse usually occurs after a complicated birth, with a caesarean section this problem is extremely rare

Symptoms:

• urinary incontinence when coughing, laughing, nervous shocks;
• pain in the lumbar region, including during sex;
• lack of relief even after going to the toilet;
• constant heaviness in the genital area.

Any of these signs is a reason to see a doctor. For the period of treatment from sex, as well as from physical activity, it is necessary to refuse.

Sex during lochia

Lochia - postpartum discharge (after natural childbirth, cesarean section), which consist of dead endometrium, placental remnants, blood and other traces of the fetus in the female body. They go out until the uterus is completely restored.

Lochia stops within 6-8 weeks after delivery. It is also considered normal if they ended earlier, at 4–5 weeks, or lasted until the 9th. All the time while a woman has postpartum discharge, you can’t have sex! An active sex life slows down the recovery of the female body and can provoke an infection of the uterus.

Feelings during intimacy

Many women say that the first sex after childbirth is comparable to the loss of virginity, the first orgasm after a cesarean can be very painful, after an episiotomy, pain and pain in the lower abdomen are felt, after a premature birth, sexual contact provokes feelings of guilt. According to Western experts (in particular, obstetrician-gynecologist Rebecca Booth from the USA thinks so), the reason for this is not only anatomical changes, but also hormonal changes in the woman's body.

The first sex after childbirth can bring surprises. For example, a woman often feels that her husband's penis has become smaller and thinner. The fact is that the vagina is stretched under the influence of hormones, as well as during the passage of the baby through the birth canal, so the sensations change.

Often, mothers note that sex is unpleasant only after the first birth. With the birth of the second and subsequent children, sensations reach a new level. Someone gets the first vaginal orgasm in their life, someone boasts of multiple orgasms, and it seems to someone that “what we previously considered an orgasm turned out to be asthma.”

Reviews about sex after childbirth

Apparently it’s like for someone, before giving birth, sex was hard labor for me, let’s say, I didn’t really experience an orgasm, after giving birth everything changed for me! On the contrary, I began to get excited and feel often! I asked my husband if there were changes, he said that nothing had changed there (in general, the bucket does not fly by with a whistle)))))))) So good luck to you)

Guest

I had my incisions stitched up. The husband says there is no difference, although I asked to tell the truth! She said that I would do an operation if it was wide. I experienced an orgasm in sex for the first time after giving birth! But it's not about physiology. but in the head. I couldn’t relax before, I kept thinking about how I look, whether I’m doing the right thing. I was ashamed, for example, to help myself with my hand. That is, I helped, but there was shame in my head! And she could not "allow" herself to finish. And after pregnancy and childbirth, when I had to spread my legs a hundred times in front of different people ... Both men and women doctors looked at me and felt me. Somehow, after such an attitude, shame with her husband disappeared. I became liberated!

Jess

http://www.woman.ru/relations/sex/thread/4300096/

After giving birth, my feelings changed for the better. The orgasm has become brighter, apparently, as they say, the G-spot has become more sensitive. I started wanting more. She finished so that milk splashed from her chest from an orgasm. Nursed 1 year 2 months. The husband says that everything is still inside. After giving birth, from a young, thin chicken, I turned into a sensual woman. Before giving birth, there were orgasms, but not that.

Guest

http://www.woman.ru/relations/sex/thread/4300096/

I gave birth to a girl 2 months ago))) And I noticed that only after the second birth I became more sensitive, and every time with my husband it’s like the first time))))

Guardian Angel

After the first birth, the sensations became brighter. After the second, even brighter.

https://lady.mail.ru/forum/topic/oshhushhenija_v_sekse_postle_rodov/

Kegel exercises

If sex has lost its magic, the husband's penis seems too thin, and the man, in turn, complains about the stretching of the vagina, you should think about training. Kegel exercises will help you. Gymnastics not only contributes to a quick return to a normal sexual life, but also allows you to experience new sensations from intimacy.

Kegel exercises were developed by the American gynecologist Arnold Kegel in the middle of the 20th century. The complex is designed to train the muscles of the perineum in order to prevent and treat inflammation of the genital organs, hemorrhoids, urinary incontinence, venous congestion, as well as to improve sexual functionality.

Execution technique

Insert your finger into the vagina and try to squeeze it (as a training, you can use more pleasant things, such as sex toys or your husband's penis). Happened? This is the muscle you need to train. Couldn't find? Then try another method: every time you go to the toilet "in a small way", stop and resume urinating with the help of internal muscles.

Directly for training, tighten your muscles, as you did when urinating, hold for 3-4 seconds, relax. Repeat 10 times. Gradually increase the time to 20 seconds. Another way: lie on your back, pull in your pelvic floor muscles (to do this, tighten your buttocks, lift your legs up and in), hold for 5 seconds, relax. Repeat 10 times.

The amount of exercise and frequency of exercise should be discussed with your gynecologist.

For quick results, do the exercises 3-4 times a day. They can be performed anytime, anywhere: at work, in line at the store, at a public transport stop, etc.
Kegel exercises can be done even at the workplace - a kind of warm-up is invisible to outsiders, but very useful for you

Video: exercises to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor

Intimate plastic

If, despite all your actions, the muscles of the vagina and pelvic floor have not returned to normal, it may be worth contacting a plastic surgeon.

What solves plastic?

1. Will return the lowered uterus to the right place.
2. Removes scars after stitches.
3. Reduces the volume of the vagina.
4. It will return pleasant sensations during sex to both partners.
5. Cope with urinary incontinence (bladder prolapse).
6. Will return the perineum and labia prenatal appearance.
7. Fix bad sutures.

Intimate plastic surgery is indicated if the woman no longer plans to become pregnant or agrees to give birth by caesarean section. Approximate prices (Moscow): reduction of the labia - from 25 thousand rubles, laser rejuvenation of the vagina - from 20 thousand rubles, plastic surgery of the clitoris - from 20 thousand rubles, plastic surgery of the vagina - from 25 thousand rubles. The final cost depends on the complexity and volume of work.

Deviations during and after sex

You should be alert to any unpleasant consequences after sex. In the first place among them is bleeding. Most often, the appearance of blood suggests that you were in a hurry to return to an active sex life. Be sure to visit a gynecologist to make sure that everything is in order with your health.

Discharge of an incomprehensible color (yellow-green, greenish, similar to snot) is a bad sign that can indicate both endometritis, cervical erosion, and an inflammatory process with pus secretion, and also be a sign of gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomoniasis. It is very bad if there is an unpleasant smell. Be sure to visit a gynecologist!

If 4-6 months have passed after childbirth, but the woman is still very painful during sex, this is also an alarming sign. Pain is caused by infections of the vagina and genitourinary system, inflammation, birth trauma, hormonal changes, and other causes. Diagnosis and therapy is established by the doctor.

Effective methods of contraception

Of course, the safest and most effective method of protection is the complete absence of sexual intercourse. But if you are not ready to give up sex (and you don’t need to), choose a contraceptive method that suits both you and your partner.

After a caesarean section, it is necessary to carefully protect yourself, pregnancy is possible only after two years (this is how long the scar on the uterus heals).

If you're sure you don't want any more children, it might make sense to consider sterilization, which comes in both male and female. In men, the vas deferens are ligated, in women, the fallopian tubes. The so-called natural methods (calculation of safe days, coitus interruptus) do not have high efficiency, it is additionally recommended to use more reliable means of protection.

Photo gallery: methods of contraception used after childbirth

Lactation does not guarantee against pregnancy Condoms are the most popular method of contraception Mini-pill contraceptive pills contain a minimum of active substances and are safe for breastfeeding Barrier contraception is considered the most affordable and one of the most effective The spiral can be placed immediately after childbirth

Even if some problems prevent you from quickly returning to normal sex, don't worry! Having a baby and having a baby doesn't mean you can't enjoy each other anymore. Gradually, you will adjust to the new environment and, perhaps, even find positive aspects in this. Take care of your health and well-being, get more rest and sometimes leave the baby with your grandmother to spend time for your own pleasure.

In the first days after the birth of your child, you are very far from thinking about how your intimate relationship with your spouse will develop. Yes, and what kind of sex can a mother clutching a baby to her chest think?!
But family and sexual life does not stop there. Care and affection is required not only for the child, but also for the father of your child.

The nature of sexual relations of spouses in the postpartum period is influenced by many factors: the course of childbirth, the presence of any complications, the well-being of the woman herself.
Usually, doctors recommend resuming sexual relations 6-8 weeks after childbirth. But here only you will be able to assess your well-being and readiness to continue your sexual life. Ideally, before this event, you should visit a gynecologist to make sure that your body has returned to normal, and with the help of a doctor, choose contraceptives that are most suitable for this period.
Statistics show that almost half of women experience difficulties in intimate life three months after giving birth or perceive sex as an unbearable duty, and about 18% face these problems during the year.
The reasons may be purely individual, but there are several common factors that prevent the continuation of sexual activity immediately after childbirth.

Reason number 1. Vaginal dryness caused by a lack of estrogen hormones. This problem is easily fixable. In this case, it is desirable to use special products, moisturizing mucous membranes, lubricants.

Reason number 2. Women experience pain or fear of sexual intercourse due to stitches placed on tears and perineal incisions. The mucous membranes and skin in the area of ​​​​the entrance to the vagina and perineum are very sensitive in the postpartum period. In the area of ​​\u200b\u200bthe seams, especially with pressure, pain may occur. During sexual intercourse, a woman may unconsciously resist penetration. In this case, you should try to relax as much as possible during intercourse, use the “woman on top” or “face to face” poses - this way you can control your movements and avoid pain.

As a rule, after a caesarean section, it is easier for a woman to make love: there is no vagina stretched by the passage of a child, there are no tears and scars.
To minimize the risk of ruptures, doctors recommend performing a special set of Kegel exercises throughout pregnancy.

KEGEL COMPLEX
EXERCISE 1. Straighten up in any position, relax the muscles of the abdomen, buttocks and legs. Squeeze the muscles around the anus several times, as if preventing bowel movements. The exercise can be performed several times a day.

EXERCISE 2. During the emptying of the bladder, interrupt the process, and continue after a few seconds. In this way, you will strengthen the anterior group of pelvic floor muscles. Theoretically, this exercise can be done in any situation, just imagine that you are trying to pinch a slipping tampon.

EXERCISE 3. This exercise combines the first and second. Start by relaxing, then gradually contract the pelvic floor muscles, starting with the back group, and only then involve the front. Each exercise should be done for two minutes, and the whole complex should be repeated at least three times a day.

Reason number 3. Psychological problems. The first three weeks after childbirth, a woman may suffer from endogenous depression, which usually increases against the background of general fatigue and constant lack of sleep. The help and support of the father in solving everyday problems, joint care of the child are very important here.

You understand that hormonal changes and routine have turned you from a passionate girl to just a mom. Passionate evenings and nights with your beloved husband have left you. More often, the reason lies in the fact that it has become but it also happens that psychological factors that need to be fought are to blame.

Sex is the foundation of a healthy family relationship between spouses. And the problem associated with the lack of intimacy must be addressed urgently.

Scale of the problem

A UK study found that one in four couples did not have sex after giving birth. With the birth of the first child, young parents have many problems associated with intimate life.

Some men admitted that they have to make great efforts to persuade their spouse to have sex.

According to survey statistics, sex after childbirth causes pain in every second woman, others are sure that intimate life will no longer bring such enchanting pleasure as before. Every fourth man who has become a father refuses intimacy after the birth of a baby.

Young mothers attribute their reluctance to constant fatigue, reduced libido and other hormonal changes that lead to the fact that a woman does not want sex after childbirth.

When can I start having sex after giving birth?

A girl should rely not only on her well-being, but also on the recommendations of a gynecologist, based on information about how long you can have sex after giving birth.

According to obstetricians, with standard childbirth without complications, you can return to sexual activity after 6 weeks. But such a period can be called conditional, as long as the woman continues to have spotting, it should be observed. This will help to avoid many postpartum complications, such as bleeding and endometritis.

As soon as the discharge ends, and the uterus approaches the full recovery process, it will be useful to visit a personal gynecologist. The doctor will check the condition of the vagina, the presence of ruptures, assess the condition of the pelvic organs and take a smear for analysis, as well as suggest a method of contraception and advise on the possible onset of sexual activity.

The period that determines how long you can have sex after giving birth is 2 months, but only if the birth is easy. A difficult postoperative period and serious tears require a longer period for recovery.

Contraception

There is an opinion that during breastfeeding you can not get pregnant. But do not rely on such a method of protection. During lactation, the menstrual cycle is not restored immediately, so a woman can find out about a new pregnancy only at a time when she feels the fetal movements.

There are a number of drugs that are not able to penetrate into mother's milk, a doctor can prescribe them. The spiral can be installed only two months after the birth of the baby, and only if there were no complications during childbirth.

Physiological changes

The postpartum period is stressful for the body of a young mother. Most often, women experience fatigue, experience a depressive state, and only a small part of the fair sex quickly comes to a state of equilibrium.

The most important thing is to surround the young mother during this period with care and attention. Most psychological changes occur at the hormonal level, and even though the baby spends more time eating and sleeping, the woman still feels sad and depressed.

Breastfeeding mothers receive additional amounts of the hormone prolactin, which lowers libido. A loving man during this period should support his beloved and treat such changes with understanding. The restoration of the sexual process in the life of the spouses should be gradual and careful in every sense.

After cesarean

Most women who give birth by caesarean section are sure that their recovery is much more difficult and takes longer, unlike natural childbirth.

After a caesarean section, there are no vaginal ruptures, which means that there is no pain in this area, and from this it follows that the first sex after childbirth will immediately bring pleasure. The only drawback is the seam on the stomach, which has to be processed regularly. The recovery period lasts the same time as in natural childbirth. But unlike standard obstetrics, women who have sex after childbirth ended with a caesarean section begin to enjoy their sex life faster, since changes in the cervix and vagina did not affect them.

Possible reasons for the lack of sexual life

Sexual life ceases to bring pleasure after childbirth for the following reasons:

Any conflicts, irritation and resentment can destroy an important component of a healthy relationship between young parents. The sooner the reason for the lack of a sexual component is clarified, the faster life will sparkle with bright colors in bed.

Lack of sex after childbirth for medical reasons

Often, having sex with a loved one is due to hormonal changes that a woman has after childbirth.

Main factors:

1. The hormones responsible for milk production return to normal at least 8 weeks after the baby is born.
2. Childbirth greatly affects the health of a woman. This is a serious test for the body, requiring time.
3. Libido level. Some girls have high sexuality, and their desire arises much earlier.
4. Mothers who do not receive help in caring for a child from close relatives and spouses are constantly in a difficult condition. The level of stress and fatigue does not decrease, but only increases, which sooner or later leads to emotional burnout.

At first, after the birth of the baby, the mother should use any free time as a rest for regular replenishment of strength.

Alternative

Despite the sad statistics, there are couples who can't wait to have sex a few days after giving birth. Vaginal sex is not recommended to start earlier than a month after the birth of the baby, but there is an alternative - oral sex, which does not carry danger and harm.

Fans of anal sex should refrain. The structure of a woman is arranged in such a way that a very thin partition separates the uterus and rectum. It's not worth the risk, as you can cause serious damage to women's health, up to gaps in this area.

How to overcome fear

You began to notice that after the birth of your baby, you turned from a passionate girl into an overly caring mother. Of course, being a good mother is the duty of every woman. But this does not mean at all that the husband and sexual intimacy should be relegated to the background.

The following recommendations will help restore harmony in sex and overcome all fears in this area of ​​life:

1. Relax! Take advantage of every moment during the day when your baby falls asleep. Do not take on household chores and chores, free yourself mentally and physically. Then by the evening you will feel, if not excellent, then already good. Accordingly, forces on the husband will remain.
2. If the desire situation does not change for the better within a few months, it may be necessary to take a hormone test and contact a gynecologist for recommendations.
3. Create a date atmosphere. Arrange a romantic candlelight dinner, just don't waste your remaining energy on close communication with the stove. It is better to order food at home and beautifully set the table. Wear chic lingerie, a stunning dress or outfit. Do neat makeup and romantic hair. This approach will awaken desire not only in the partner, but also in yourself, and you will not even notice how this happens.
4. Use moisturizing gels for intimate places, since the microflora of the vagina is not restored immediately, dryness may be present at first.
5. Choose positions that are most comfortable for you. This will only be the first time, then everything will return to its place.
6. Regularly train the muscles of the small pelvis, they directly affect the intensity and number of orgasms.
7. Almost no one can relax in the presence of a baby. For sexual pleasures, you can use the kitchen or bathroom, this will not negatively affect the quality of intimacy.
8. Don't forget about contraception. Even though children are wonderful creatures, mom needs time to recover. Do not rely on lactation, in practice there are a lot of cases when young mothers, having just given birth and being breastfed, became pregnant again.

Sex is not fun

Most often, the reason that sex after childbirth does not bring pleasure is not only banal fatigue and irritability, but also a number of other factors:

The main thing is not to despair, the microflora is restored, the muscles are tightened, and sex after childbirth becomes enchanting again, as before.

Doctors note that those women who do not follow their low sexual desire and begin to lead a full-fledged intimate life recover much faster.

Sex is the basis of almost all successful relationships between partners. Most psychologists in the world agree with this statement. But if you cannot restore your libido and this is not due to hormonal changes, then you should immediately contact a sex therapist or psychologist.

Sex after natural childbirth requires a recovery period of 4 to 6 months. Moreover, the microflora and muscles of the vagina need more time.

Women who give birth by caesarean section begin to enjoy earlier, since the pelvic organs have not undergone changes during labor. The only drawback is that sex after childbirth with stitches on the stomach can drive a young mother into complexes. But this is all temporary. The body tends to recover in a fairly short time, and modern cosmetology can solve almost any problem.

Newly made mothers perceive sex after childbirth in different ways. For some, this is not an issue at all. But more than half still face trouble for up to 3 months, sometimes up to six months. Approximately one in ten problems remain after the first birthday of the baby.

Being together Long-awaited sex Intimacy after childbirth
After the arrival of the menstrual cycle
Difficult degree of consequences

When and how to start

From the standpoint of physiology, the woman's body is ready to resume intimate relationships after the genitals are restored. After childbirth, this happens individually for each woman, which determines how long you can not have sex.

1. It takes time to contract the uterus, the muscles of the vagina. During the first week, the uterus is halved, completely takes on its original size by about the third or fourth week. The vagina may take much longer, sometimes up to six months.
2. So that the first sex after childbirth does not turn into a severe infection, inflammation, you need to wait for the healing of the wound left from the placenta, as well as the closure of the cervical canal. This happens in the third to sixth weeks.
3. If a caesarean section was performed, the uterus needs a similar period to recover, scar formation.
4. After serious ruptures, surgical interventions, episiotomy, recovery lasts longer. Whether it is possible to have sex determines the success of this process after childbirth. As a rule, the ban is increased to two or even three months.

The average term, which doctors call, is rather uncertain. Recommend 42 days, 8 weeks, 6 weeks. The minimum is 4 weeks or about a month.

A moment of pleasure to be together

A woman is quite capable of determining when she can have sex. The fact that the organs have returned to normal is indicated by the cessation of postpartum discharge. Small stitches heal even earlier. But still, you first need to undergo an examination by a gynecologist and get his “good”.

There are extreme people who resume sexual relations as early as the second week. This is not worth doing, the need to suffer a little is not at all a reason to risk health. The danger exists even when using a condom.

On the other hand, after giving birth, you can have sex after as many days as you like, even immediately after discharge. If we remember that intimacy is not necessarily the penetration of the male organ into the female. There are caresses, petting, oral way to satisfy her husband. The main thing is that the psychological attitude is appropriate.

This is where the biggest problems lie. Sex after childbirth can repel a new mother for many reasons. Sometimes dad has certain fears. No wonder they say that it is very similar to the "very first time", including because of the possible pain.

You need to make a little effort so that the first sex after childbirth does not become a disappointment. Of great importance is the nature of everyday communication of young parents. Small signs of attention, gentle words, kisses, hugs - the best way to express feelings for each other.

A woman should remember that she is really a woman, and not just a feeding and care machine. This does not depend on the figure, the degree of fatigue, enlarged breasts and other far-fetched problems. After giving birth, she needs intimacy no less than a man. His desire shows better than any words that love and interest have not been lost - most likely, they have even increased.

A man needs to remember the utmost caution. You may even have to interrupt sexual intercourse, and more than once. Actions must be extremely careful, very slow.

After giving birth, in order to have sex, it can be difficult to choose the time when to do it. The traditional night is not always successful. But you can contrive by asking a friend, grandmother to take a walk with the baby for an hour or two during her husband's lunch break. If there is a desire, then there will be an opportunity.

A careful approach is needed when choosing a pose. Positions familiar before pregnancy are likely to be uncomfortable or even impossible. Take into account that it can be painful to have sex after childbirth, as well as some stretching of the muscles of the vagina. Therefore, a woman should be able to control the process by taking a position in which the hips are tightly closed.

Most Common Problems

The primary reason for concern is pain. It can be called:

• dryness, which occurs due to reduced estrogen production;
• changes in the mucosa, muscle tissue, which were the result of stretching, ruptures, incisions;
• much less often - inflammatory, infectious processes.

Almost all women who have given birth experience a lack of natural lubrication. To make it not painful to have sex, use artificial lubricants. Choose water-based ones so as not to get irritated by oil.

long awaited moment

Even small stitches can cause pain. With care, it quickly passes. It is more difficult, of course, with extensive damage. They take longer to heal, which determines when you can have sex after giving birth.

Painful sensations arise because the tissues in the vaginal area are very tender and sensitive. Usually this is not dangerous, but sometimes it takes as long as six months for a full recovery. Very rarely, in the most difficult situations, plastic surgery is done.

A more serious situation is when pain from sex, even a month after childbirth, appears in the stomach, back, that is, inside. This may indicate an infectious lesion, the development of inflammation. There are bad discharges. The appearance of any suspicious symptoms is an occasion for immediate medical attention.

If a couple is too hasty after giving birth, blood may appear after sex. Again, it is necessary to see a gynecologist in order to exclude a serious danger.

Why does it bleed:

• barely tightened vessels at the seams are mechanically damaged;
• physical impact caused the renewal of lochia, which has not yet ended;
• there are postpartum complications, depending on the strength of the bleeding, an ambulance or a visit to the doctor is needed.

If blood does not appear after the first sex, but after six months or a year from the date of birth of the baby, most likely the reason is not related to childbirth.

Why does desire disappear?

The first reason for the lack of attraction in a new mother is based on instincts and hormones. Now she needs to take care of the baby, procreation is not required, therefore, nature provides for the loss of interest in intimacy. On the other hand, prolactin - the "milk" hormone - suppresses the very mechanism of the emergence of passion. So “I don’t want sex after giving birth” is not just words, it’s physiology.

This state passes quickly enough. You can speed up the process by doing "it" contrary to the physiological desire. The possible lack of physical pleasure will not last long, it will be completely replaced by an emotional one. After all, my husband has no hormonal changes.

Intimacy is getting sweeter

But the lack of desire appears for many other reasons.

1. I don’t feel like sex at all when a woman feels completely owned by the baby, obliged to devote all her time only to him. It comes to the point that the pleasure of intimacy is perceived as guilt before the child.
2. Lack of social contacts, resentment towards her husband, that he is not able to replace communication with other people.
3. Awareness of one's own unattractiveness often explains why women do not want sex after having a baby.
4. Fear of a new pregnancy.
5. Normal fatigue.

These psychological problems are quite successfully solved.

1. It must be remembered that the baby will be happy if the mother is happy. Otherwise, later it will turn into a deterioration in relations, subconscious accusations that the child took the life of his mother. Certainly the need to pay attention to the child after childbirth is not the reason why you can not have sex.
2. The husband really cannot become all people at once. There are other ways - communication in social networks, meeting young mothers, visiting sports complexes, and finally, clubs of interest.
3. The fact that now a woman looks different does not mean that it has become worse. You just need to let go of the old, find the positive in the new life.
4. There are many ways to make sex after childbirth safe. The doctor will recommend the best.
5. Defeating fatigue is not easy, it will take a lot of patience. In addition, a lot of household chores can be postponed by using time to relax and communicate with your husband.

Even new dads experience attraction problems. Although they are ready for long-term abstinence, unlike mothers who are faced with a lack of desire, often unexpectedly. Many men simply feel sorry for the woman, especially after the suffering she endured.

It happens that dads cannot accept the baby for a long time, associate him with his wife and lose attraction. Sometimes they are subconsciously angry at the need to support the whole family alone, when the wife is constantly at home.

Internet forums, reviews of other new parents about sex after childbirth suggest ways to solve problems. A family psychologist will be invaluable help. Sometimes one visit is enough, just voicing the cause of the problems. It is a mistake to underestimate marital intimacy - after all, its renewal means the end of the postpartum period, the beginning of new family relationships.

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Attention!

The information published on the site is for informational purposes only and is intended for informational purposes only. Site visitors should not use them as medical advice! The editors of the site do not recommend self-medication. Determining the diagnosis and choosing a treatment method remains the exclusive prerogative of your doctor! Remember that only a complete diagnosis and therapy under the supervision of a doctor will help to completely get rid of the disease!

It should be borne in mind that the birth of a child independently and by caesarean section have some features in influencing subsequent sexual life.

When is it possible?

All the hardships of childbirth are over, and now that mom and baby are already at home, it is necessary to establish a familiar life in which an important place belongs not only to the child, but also to his parents.

If a woman had no problems in childbirth, medical recommendations for the beginning of sexual activity are as follows: after 6-8 weeks after childbirth, you can begin to have a sexual life, provided that she has stopped.

Postpartum hemorrhage should be taken lightly. If you follow the medical recommendations for taking medication to restore health, it will stop on its own.

If it stopped, and after sexual contact resumed again, this is an occasion to visit a gynecologist.

We talked about the case when a woman gave birth herself without ruptures and frequent episiotomy procedures (perineal cutting). If you have had to endure unpleasant suturing procedures, you may have to wait until your sexual life begins to heal completely. Visit a doctor who, upon examination, will definitely tell you how things are.

very important is attention to one's own feelings. You, like no one else, feel best what is happening inside. Therefore, if there are painful sensations, it is better to explain this to a loved one.

Women often worry about dryness into the vagina, in which sexual life can turn into torture. The hormone estrogen, or rather, its lack, is “responsible” for this state of affairs. Do not worry - its level will return to normal.

The way out of this situation is quite simple. There are quite a few in stores now. a large selection of intimate lubricant gels, among which it is worth choosing a warming one. They are harmless, and by their action will help you relax and enjoy communicating with your loved one.

Also an excellent action that stimulates the additional production of natural lubrication is active petting. Ask a man to give you an erotic massage, do not disdain aphrodisiacs in the form of incense.

The pose for intimate life after childbirth has some limitation, which, however, you can set yourself. As some women point out, after giving birth, it is difficult for them to perform "acrobatic stunts", so you can start with the missionary position or the "man behind the man" position. So the load on the weakened muscles of the abdomen and thighs is minimized.

But be mindful of your feelings: the pressure on different walls of the vagina in different positions is different, and try to choose one so that pain does not occur.

Sexual life after caesarean section

A week after natural childbirth, many women are already ready to move mountains, and caesarean survivors are still walking, bending over and holding on to the wall.

The abdominal operation, which it is, makes you think about anything, but not about sex. However, gynecologists also expose abstinence period is approximately 6-8 weeks. During this period, the bleeding should completely stop, and the suture should heal.

There are some nuances with the onset of sexual activity after childbirth, which women who survived the operation speak of.

In principle, they are familiar with all the same problems - dryness, muscle weakness, pain "like the first" time. But because of the incision in the peritoneum and uterine area, it can be harder for them to find a comfortable position for making love.

In some ways, they were lucky that the vagina did not suffer stretching during childbirth, but even women who gave birth themselves do not confirm the myth that the birth canal expanded to immense proportions.

But cesarean does not leave injuries on the walls of the ways, which significantly reduces the period of abstinence. Also useful for training and contracting the vaginal muscles.

With regards to positions: for such women, it is best to advise those where the man is actively moving, without putting pressure on the stomach. But the position when the woman is on top will initially be unpleasant due to the need to move the lower back and hips. From this, the area of ​​\u200b\u200bthe seam can become very sick.

There is another delicate problem that women face after an operative delivery: an orgasm delivers too painful sensations. If they are kept, it is better to wait a bit with an intimate life so as not to cause bleeding.

Let's talk about contraceptive methods

Not all couples dream of having children of the same age, and this fear often prevents a woman who has recently given birth to have a sexual life. It is worth saying that there are many varieties of contraceptives suitable even for nursing mothers.

Usually, the most common method- barrier. On the one hand, it is calmer with a condom, and on the other hand, many men and women complain of discomfort after using it. You may also be surprised to find that they appeared after childbirth.

Do not worry, now there are hormonal drugs that are applicable even during the lactation period. The doctor will definitely tell you which ones are right for you, and how to work out a schedule for taking them. Feel free to use them, overcome the fear that suddenly it won’t “work”.

You can also install a spiral, but many doctors indicate that this is only possible five months after childbirth. You should not wait for such a period if you want to resume sexual activity after childbirth as soon as possible.

But do not believe the well-known myth that breastfeeding prevents pregnancy, as well as trusting folk methods of coitus interruptus.

According to medical practice, within a month after giving birth, a woman is able to conceive. Yes, the hormone prolactin, which is produced during constant and frequent feeding, prevents pregnancy for some time, but as soon as its level drops at least a little (they began to feed less often, introduced supplementary feeding), its effect ceases.

Women who, for various reasons, have introduced artificial nutrition for children feel best in relation to the selection of contraception. They may well choose for themselves hormonal contraceptives applicable to any woman.

Psychological aspects

Even if you are physiologically fully prepared to resume intimate life, your fears and self-doubt can still prevent you from enjoying it. In this regard, the help and support of your loved one is very important.

As a rule, women cite their own unattractiveness as the first reason for not having sex. A sagging belly, shapeless breasts, excess weight - all this does not contribute to the desire to show her husband without clothes.